Years ago, when I was in my early twenties and struggling to find a direction for my life, an excellent therapist helped me create my optimal career path.
Her influence, combined with my passion for psychology, resulted in my decision to also become a therapist. Since then I have made it a point to pass on the most helpful things I learned from that wonderful woman to my own clients.
One of those consistently helpful things is the future-self exercise.
The method used for this is guided meditation in the context of a therapeutic relationship.
Guided meditation (sometimes called guided imagery or guided self-hypnosis) is a gentle but powerful technique that focuses the imagination in positive, soothing, and proactive ways. It helps us get in touch with our inner creative side to allow us to move forward toward the life we want to create as well as recognize any obstacles we might face.
Even though the process is the same as what used to be called “hypnosis”, most of us no longer use that word because of its association with stage tricks and the erroneous idea that someone else is taking control of your mind (entirely untrue).
During guided meditation the client is asked to relax, settle comfortably into their chair, and close their eyes as the therapist suggests mental imagery that recreates sights, sounds, scents, and pleasant physical sensations to help the client narrow their focus from external matters into a deeply peaceful state with an internal focus. This process can help clients decrease anxiety, reduce sensations of pain, abate unhelpful behaviors, and build a sense of resiliency, confidence, and competency. This can also be useful for the treatment of phobias and is often helpful to trauma survivors.
The usefulness of this process to positively influence our mind and body has been shown to link to specific changes in certain areas of the brain, according to research at Stanford University School of Medicine published online in Cerebral Cortex on July 28, 2016.
“It’s a very powerful means of changing the way we use our minds to control perception and its connection to our bodies,” said the study’s senior author, David Siegal, MD, professor and associate chair of psychiatry and behavioral sciences.
Siegal also explains it’s more effective for some people than others. In the link below the specific changes noted in the brain are identified.
When I originally did this exercise at age 25, I had no idea what to expect. As my therapist led me through the meditation into a deeply relaxed state, I found that I was able to completely shift my focus from my present problems and worries to possible solutions and a positive vision for my future. When she suggested I imagine my older, wiser self, I could picture her very clearly as a confident woman a decade older; she was relaxed, mature, and competent in her career. It was very easy to have a conversation with her in my mind about what I could do differently moving forward in my life to become her.
I envisioned my future self as 35 years old, confident, and competent; she was no longer shy and self-doubting. She had graduated college and also had a graduate degree and was doing important work as a therapist. I also could envision the specific steps I would need to take to become her.
The cool thing that happened is by 35 I had attained those goals.
While this exercise is not magic, it’s very helpful for many people as one tool in the toolbox I use to assist them to find their path forward.
It moves them out of a focus strictly on the present problems, and thus provides a sense of hope and direction. I encourage clients to continue to maintain a dialogue with their older, wiser selves as a personification of someone they can always turn to for guidance no matter the place and time.
After all, the goal of therapy is not to keep you in therapy forever; the goal is to help you become your own best therapist.
While doing the future self exercise with a client last week I found myself sliding right into that calm meditative state along with her. As her future self was speaking to her, mine also appeared to me. She’s now 75 years old, but still vigorous. “Take those trips you’ve always wanted to take,” she said to me. “See Alaska, Ireland, and New Zealand while you have time and good health. And go ahead and get that tattoo you’ve been thinking about since you were 16. There’s no time like the present.”
My future self has a sense of humor. I like that about her.
Funny as I read this the ad for SpectrumReach.com in which the future self of the small business owner appears to influence her popped on the TV on mute in the background. This yet another wonderful piece you are sharing with the perfect personal examples from your own experience to make the point all the more vivid. I love the turn at the end with a future future self.
But I am not sure about the tattoo. My future self made the case on more than a few occasions that unless it was the immediate personal experience itself of getting the tattoo, and some series of sharing, socializing that experience and the tattoo itself, without expecting any specific rhetorical outcome, I should skip until I could think of a purpose.
I think my future self in this case is a party pooper. But has a valid point that I could use the tattoo more meaningfully if thought about it with more intention. I need to talk to that future self. When did I turn into that stodgy curmudgeon?