Is My Child a Psychopath?

Likely not, but this is when to be concerned

All young kids experiment with violating the rules. It’s normal for children to lie to get out of trouble or try to take candy or a toy from a store without paying for it. In most cases, parents respond in ways that teach children the benefits of doing the right thing. Most children respond to positive reinforcement and learn from mild punishment; over time, they integrate the moral behavior of the adults with whom they live.

Sometimes, complicating circumstances impact child development and result in a child having behavioral problems or difficulty adjusting socially. Anxiety, depression, ADHD, neurodiversity, grief, health problems, home violence, or family stress can all cause children to react with erratic emotions and unpredictable or extreme behavior. Teachers, school counselors, and therapists work to sort out what’s happening with any child having troubling symptoms. It’s our job to develop specific ways to help support them and find ways they can be successful.

But sometimes, there’s something else going on that doesn’t fit with any of the above. Sometimes the behavior is so consistently cruel, violent, and manipulative that clinicians may consider psychopathic personality a factor.

And though it’s rare to see a child with the trait of psychopathy, it does occur. We all have personality qualities that become apparent in childhood mainly based on our genetic inheritance; childhood is also when psychopathic traits first appear.

Here’s a refresher on the psychopathic personality. “Personality” refers to our characteristic pattern of perceiving, thinking, feeling, and behaving that is stable over time and in various circumstances. The term psychopath refers to a person with particular traits, which include:

• limited capacity for empathy

• devoid of a normal conscience

• disregard for the rights of others

• self-serving and manipulative

• easy violation of social norms and the law

• superficially charming

• an unusually high need for stimulation and prone to thrill-seeking

• sexual promiscuity and serial romantic relationships

• prone to physical aggression

These traits manifest on a spectrum, with some people having more severe problems than others.

Psychopathy is considered 67% heritable, meaning psychopathic parents are likely to pass down these genetic tendencies to their children.

Mental health therapists use caution when diagnosing a child — for a good reason. We are trained to avoid frivolously attaching any label that could be pejorative. Medical records may follow a young person throughout life, and we must never err with an inappropriate diagnosis, particularly one that could be stigmatizing. This is particularly true when it comes to matters of character or personality.

While you won’t find a therapist likely to identify a child as a psychopath (the diagnostic code for antisocial personality disorder is never given to someone under 18), clinical language has evolved to describe children with specific concerning behavior that could indicate developing psychopathy. Such children are commonly described as having “callous, unemotional traits” or “limited pro-social behaviors.” These concerning traits are listed below.

Concerning behavior in young and elementary-age children:

• Intentionally urinating on floors, furniture, or other people

• Pathological lying far beyond what most children lie about

• Cruelty to animals or practicing animal cruelty by mutilating stuffed animals

• Ignoring another child who is crying

• Does not learn from negative consequences, unaffected by punishment like time out or physical pain

• Attempts to bully or dominate other children

• Stealing from or cheating friends, enemies, and those who are neutral

• Unprovoked attacks on others

• Fascination with death or expressing a wish to watch a death

• Setting fires or being unusually fascinated by watching fires

• Fearless with consequences

Concerning behavior in early teens and on (ages 13-adulthood):

• Trying to dominate authority figures, physically attacking teachers or police

• Using a weapon to attack others

• Committing crimes when alone (apart from any peer pressure)

• Desire to cause death, watch a death, or seek out disturbing images

• Desire to have others fear them

• Unaffected by social or legal consequences, does not learn from mistakes

• Impulsive and irresponsible

• Extreme thrill-seeking behavior

• Lacks realistic long-term goals

• Sexually promiscuous

• Conning, manipulative behavior

When numbers of these behaviors are repetitive and consistent, it is a cause for concern. A consultation with a mental health clinician who works with kids should be sought.

It is common in popular culture to associate psychopathy with a history of childhood abuse. Extensive research has proven this untrue; psychopathy appears to have more to do with structural differences in the brain.

Researchers have identified differences in the brains of people with psychopathy, specifically in two areas. The amygdala and ventromedial cortex areas are smaller, which appears to result in an impairment in the development of empathy and moral reasoning. Normally, our empathy for others is what fuels our sense of morality.

Empathy causes us to put the brakes on our worst impulses. Since psychopaths are deficient in empathy, they don’t develop a normal braking system.

Fortunately, genes are not destiny. We now understand that it’s not “nature versus nurture” regarding personality development but how our genetic tendencies interact with our environment. All personality traits begin manifesting in early childhood, and the environment shapes these traits in many ways. The earlier a child with callous, unemotional characteristics is identified, the more successful interventions will be. A child born with psychopathic tendencies may always have those traits. Still, they can learn the benefits of managing themselves—some need to learn to apply the brakes harder than others.

Research has consistently confirmed the existence of so-called “successful psychopaths,” referring to those who have done well in life by learning to channel their problematic traits in more pro-social ways. It is possible for psychopaths to avoid criminal behavior. The occupations with a significantly higher prevalence of psychopathic individuals include managers, entrepreneurs, lawyers, surgeons, and journalists.

It’s easier to help an eight-year-old than an 18-year-old learn to channel their impulses, and it’s significantly harder to help a 38-year-old. The younger treatment is started, the better.

Both good parenting and therapy can help a child with genetic vulnerabilities learn that putting the brakes on their worst impulses brings the best results in life.

Notes:

Sanz-García, Ana. et al. (2021) “Prevalence of Psychopathy in the General Adult Population: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” Frontiers in Psychology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.661044/full#:~:text=After%20calculating%20the%20conjoint%20mean,general%20adult%20population%20is%204.5%25

Hyde, L. W., Waller, R., Trentacosta, C. J., Shaw, D. S., Neiderhiser, J. M., Ganiban, J. M., Leve, L. D. (2016). “Heritable and nonheritable pathways to early callous-unemotional behaviors.” The American Journal Of Psychiatry, 173(9), 903-910. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2016.15111381

Waller, R., Dishion, T. J., Shaw, D. S., Gardner, F., Wilson, M. N., & Hyde, L. W. (2016). “Does early childhood callous-unemotional behavior uniquely predict behavior problems or callous-unemotional behavior in late childhood?.” Developmental Psychology, 52(11), 1805-1819. doi:10.1037/dev0000165

Salekin, R. T. (2017). “Research Review: What do we know about psychopathic traits in children?” Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry, 58(11), 1180–1200.